Discovering your Existence

At 3am on a Sunday morning, following a couple of weeks of unexplained sleeplessness, I could no longer resist the urge. In an effort to stifle false hope and remain even keeled, I chose to think of taking a pregnancy test as eliminating the option. As it turned out, the only thing in need of elimination was my own doubt. It was true, 

there was a you!

At just 5 weeks you were said to be approximately the size of an appleseed. It sounds small now, but at the time there was something so significant about knowing that although you were tiny, you were already that big! That night we couldn't help ourselves. Your dad and I put Sanders to bed, cut open an apple, and gazed in utter wonderment. 

God has surely been gracious and blessed us with far more than we dared to request. So often we marvel at the fact that we have Sanders. We find ourselves saying, "I still can't believe he's ours!" We know he's a gift and although he's here in our arms and our home he belongs to The Giver. But still, at 13 months old, it's hard to wrap our heads around the tremendous love we have for our funny little fellow. The fact that we get two is totally overwhelming in the best imaginable way. 

We love you so much, little Appleseed.

Blogland Beckoned, I Reckon

For some really cool reasons I have made my way back to this, my wedge, my itsy bitsy corner of the web, to share with anyone still willing to read, or rather view, why life is beautiful these days.

1.) I'm pregnant! Again(!)

2.) I survived the first trimester! It surprised me by being more challenging this go round than it was with mr. Sanders so I feel it necessary to celebrate my return to functional humanity.

3.) My "baby," although far less babyish these days, has turned one.

4.) Before I realize I've blinked, I'll be keeping up with two littles and if I can't keep up documenting one, then, well...

5.) I'm anticipating what God has in store for us with much excitement but embracing today for the gift that it is.

Which is why it is my goal to go back through my little family's photos and begin to recap life (in abbreviated form) since I fell behind. Doing so is going to allow me the thrill of reliving and "re-loving" it all, from little moments when my camera happened to be handy, to many of Sanders' milestones.

Follow along, if you'd like. :)



* It's an understatement to say I'm an inconsistent blogger so if you're interested in catching updates as I'm able to post, be sure to subscribe! (See upper left column.)

Musings from Mommyland.

This past week my MIL came for a few days to have herself a little "Sanders fix." :) While she was here it was brought to my attention that blog updates from Meganville have been missed by several, if not more. ..."Really?!", I thought to myself. "People actually miss whatever it was I used to post?" (After wracking my brain to remember my last posts, I couldn't. I had to look them up! I guess that's how long it's been. :S ) I'm flattered that there are those who care to know and see what's going on in our little world enough to express that they miss the glimpses of life documented here. 

But I'm overwhelmed. 

See, I didn't make a conscious decision to quit blogging. Rather, I simply stopped making time for it and by the time I noticed how far behind I had fallen, the thought of catching up was too overwhelming. Now here I sit, nearly 6 1/2 months into motherhood wondering where to begin again.

Nothing has taught me more about life and myself, as becoming a mother. It's a rich, full life; one in which the teaching, but more importantly the being taught, never ends. 

One of the things I'm learning that relates to this, my blog, is that sometimes a little has to be enough. There isn't always time to take photos, edit photos, write, edit my writing, possibly rewrite what I had written, compile it into a blog, and post. Life as a lady with shtuff to do, means getting shtuff done by means of prioritizing. I don't regret my several month blogging sabbatical. I've been caught up in the wonderment of life with a baby and I would have it absolutely no other way, but I'm a forgetful soul and I don't want to forget life's sweet, short moments.....so this is me saying, 

"Hello again, Blogland. 

I think it is indeed nice to be back."

I'm returning with a fresh perspective. I'm not making any promises but I look forward to posting proof, however brief a post may be, that my world has blossomed into something well worth sharing. 

Until next time, hopefully soon, thanks for caring to drop by.

Lessons in Labor.

* "False labor" can be painful, really painful, despite what they say.

* Everyone's assurance that I would just know when my contractions were real...they didn't really work out. I spent 5 nights thinking, "This is horrible. These are absolutely real. We need to leave for the hospital NOW!" Yet night after night, I was left increasingly sore and tired and with a baby still in my belly instead of my arms.

* Epidurals are truly a girl's best, best friend.

* Contrary to how fearful I was of a super drugged birth, I learned that Pitocin isn't always the enemy. In fact, a body can actually require it in order to progress beyond what was for us, a 4 centimeter road block.

* No matter how hard you try, you cannot look your best when your baby arrives. And although it's a nice idea, especially for the photo enthusiast such as myself, it is totally not the point. I wanted everything photographed. Well, everything but what was going on 'downstairs,' of course... :S I was determined to look beautiful in hospital photos. For about a week leading up to our due date I not only washed my hair daily, but styled it a couple of times per day. I was even caught in the middle of the night curling my hair between contractions. Several days into being a mama I found time to transfer all of our hospital photos from camera to computer. I was anxious to scroll through them and see what Brian had captured. My immediate response was disappointment when I saw that despite my dedication to a "photograph-able" appearance, I looked pret-ty bad by the time we entered the delivery room and documentation of the event I had so anticipated began. Then however, I looked past my hair and lack of make-up and I saw our faces as we met our baby for the first time. I was reminded of Sanders' bright, brand new eyes as he took in his world and learned the face of the mama whom he had only been able to hear for months. Each snapshot brought me back to the moment and suddenly my life's lens slid into focus. It was a new focus, a better focus, and I realized that my unkempt hair and 'naked' face suddenly seemed just right. I was a mama. My Mr. was a daddy. Together we had received everything for which we had hoped and prayed. Our gift had arrived. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and everything else was but wrapping paper, lying by, no longer the focus. 
In some ways my world is so much bigger now because there's so much beyond myself. In reality though, it's so small. 

My world is a 10 pound little someone named Sanders.

4 days old.

Sanders received his first bath from his mama. 

 My zip-up was inside out and I was completely unaware...

Hello, Mommyhood! :S

Friends Jasmine and Lindsay came to meet Sanders. They brought dinner and gifts and were anxious to dote on our little man. :)