Musings from Mommyland.

This past week my MIL came for a few days to have herself a little "Sanders fix." :) While she was here it was brought to my attention that blog updates from Meganville have been missed by several, if not more. ..."Really?!", I thought to myself. "People actually miss whatever it was I used to post?" (After wracking my brain to remember my last posts, I couldn't. I had to look them up! I guess that's how long it's been. :S ) I'm flattered that there are those who care to know and see what's going on in our little world enough to express that they miss the glimpses of life documented here. 

But I'm overwhelmed. 

See, I didn't make a conscious decision to quit blogging. Rather, I simply stopped making time for it and by the time I noticed how far behind I had fallen, the thought of catching up was too overwhelming. Now here I sit, nearly 6 1/2 months into motherhood wondering where to begin again.

Nothing has taught me more about life and myself, as becoming a mother. It's a rich, full life; one in which the teaching, but more importantly the being taught, never ends. 

One of the things I'm learning that relates to this, my blog, is that sometimes a little has to be enough. There isn't always time to take photos, edit photos, write, edit my writing, possibly rewrite what I had written, compile it into a blog, and post. Life as a lady with shtuff to do, means getting shtuff done by means of prioritizing. I don't regret my several month blogging sabbatical. I've been caught up in the wonderment of life with a baby and I would have it absolutely no other way, but I'm a forgetful soul and I don't want to forget life's sweet, short moments.....so this is me saying, 

"Hello again, Blogland. 

I think it is indeed nice to be back."

I'm returning with a fresh perspective. I'm not making any promises but I look forward to posting proof, however brief a post may be, that my world has blossomed into something well worth sharing. 

Until next time, hopefully soon, thanks for caring to drop by.

Lessons in Labor.

* "False labor" can be painful, really painful, despite what they say.

* Everyone's assurance that I would just know when my contractions were real...they didn't really work out. I spent 5 nights thinking, "This is horrible. These are absolutely real. We need to leave for the hospital NOW!" Yet night after night, I was left increasingly sore and tired and with a baby still in my belly instead of my arms.

* Epidurals are truly a girl's best, best friend.

* Contrary to how fearful I was of a super drugged birth, I learned that Pitocin isn't always the enemy. In fact, a body can actually require it in order to progress beyond what was for us, a 4 centimeter road block.

* No matter how hard you try, you cannot look your best when your baby arrives. And although it's a nice idea, especially for the photo enthusiast such as myself, it is totally not the point. I wanted everything photographed. Well, everything but what was going on 'downstairs,' of course... :S I was determined to look beautiful in hospital photos. For about a week leading up to our due date I not only washed my hair daily, but styled it a couple of times per day. I was even caught in the middle of the night curling my hair between contractions. Several days into being a mama I found time to transfer all of our hospital photos from camera to computer. I was anxious to scroll through them and see what Brian had captured. My immediate response was disappointment when I saw that despite my dedication to a "photograph-able" appearance, I looked pret-ty bad by the time we entered the delivery room and documentation of the event I had so anticipated began. Then however, I looked past my hair and lack of make-up and I saw our faces as we met our baby for the first time. I was reminded of Sanders' bright, brand new eyes as he took in his world and learned the face of the mama whom he had only been able to hear for months. Each snapshot brought me back to the moment and suddenly my life's lens slid into focus. It was a new focus, a better focus, and I realized that my unkempt hair and 'naked' face suddenly seemed just right. I was a mama. My Mr. was a daddy. Together we had received everything for which we had hoped and prayed. Our gift had arrived. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and everything else was but wrapping paper, lying by, no longer the focus. 
In some ways my world is so much bigger now because there's so much beyond myself. In reality though, it's so small. 

My world is a 10 pound little someone named Sanders.

Awareness, Perspective, & Eagle's Wings for All

In light of last night's post I can't help but emphasize what people go through, much of which most of us will never know. And no, I'm not referring to myself, I'm talking about everyone except myself. Few people I know have blogs and the majority of those that do utilize them as a way to capture and journal everyday life, not to spill their trials. I'm reminded of this quote:

"Be kinder than necessary 

because everyone you meet 

is fighting some kind of battle."

My dear friend/cousin Janna has had this posted under 'About Janna' on her Facebook page for years. I've always admired it. Where most people write about themselves, Janna points outside of herself to others. After a good night's sleep and a little reflection on yesterday's post I can't help but be reminded of Janna's servitude to all those she comes into contact with. It's not just a quote to her, it's her perspective. She's a beaming ray of sunshine to so many people because she's always considering others and looking to give of herself.

Just because I'm unaware of other's realities doesn't give me an out. The comments alone on
Missy's blog post demonstrate a whole group of people facing past and/or current trials. Not only do I have it so, so good, but I need to be more aware, more compassionate, more sympathetic to those around me. There are people that waited nearly 6 years to meet their adopted child. (And I thought our situation was hard.) There are people with unresolved problems, others dealing with disease, others with death.

I woke up today with the gift of perspective. Today I'm counting my many, many blessing and remembering those who need answers, those who need mending, those who need comfort and peace, and those seeking their 'eagle's wings.'

In Response

To those who have said the following things...

'At least you still have one baby.'

'Two would have been a lot to manage...'

'Thank God for back-ups.'

Our reply is a quiet yes, but a louder no.

Yes, God gave us a bio baby.

Yes, we are abundantly blessed.

Yes, we are forever thankful.

NO, God did not put these babies in front of us and then realize, 

'Hmm, two might be more than they can manage.' 

NO, Bio Babe is not and will never be a "back-up."

That is not how God works. He doesn't mess up. God doesn't require hindsight or create back-ups for His own work.

Brian and I can't claim to see how God's hand is at work right now. We know He is working. We know He has a plan. We even know it's a good one. But that is not the same as understanding why something is happening. However, despite sadness, perspective remains. I have experienced the loss of a nephew. I have watched my brother and sister-in-law travel the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking path of mourning the loss of their own baby. The loss of life, the magnitude of which I can't comprehend. The loss that Brian and I currently experience is painful, but so minimal in comparison. We are thankful for all we have been given, but still we wonder... He placed a birth family in our life, allowed me to be present at the 20 week ultrasound, placed 'August' in our hearts and allowed four months of relationship-building and love-growing. What was His plan through it all? Were we a shining light to the birth family? Was he somehow using us in a way we can't yet see? We hope so, but perhaps we'll never see. What we know is that He is working. He urges us to look outside of ourselves, past our own questions and confusion, to place our trust in Him. And that is what we will do.

*  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not rely on your own understanding.  *

Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

*  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,  *

who have been called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

Thank you to all who love and support us. Not one kind word or prayer goes unappreciated.
Thank you for rejoicing with us in the happy times and lifting us up in life's sad moments.
We love you. :)

Lessons in Pack-Ratting

As of this afternoon, I've scored a couple new friends. Their names are Rick and Sue. Sue is the neice of our deceased neighbor. Sue's aunt (our former neighbor) passed away earlier this year. Recently her house was listed and sold within a short four days! Sue is currently wrapping up the big job of cleaning out her aunt's house in order to allow the new owners to move in.

I am pleased to announce, the following treasures are now in my possession.

I made a HAUL at (practically) the price of a STEAL.

 (What can I say, it pays to make new friends?! ;0 )

...Mmm, I love me some Thrifty Success. :)

Rocking chair, I look forward to sitting in you and loving...

~ Dashing Details ~

Pretty stoked about this retro mag holder. I'm excited for the day when it sits next to the rocking chair in future Wee One's room with children's books spilling out of it. :)

This will definitely reside on Wee One's wall. The little squirrel in this picture will forever remind me of our neighborhood squirrel that faithfully, everyday, runs the power lines in front of our house. :)

Sue's Grandpa Ed's very old, very worn plate, complete with his name on the back.

Many, many pretty linens.

A big, funky suitcase. The perfect prop for a future shoot...

Rick and Sue gave this one to me. They said it was a gift. For what I'm still not sure, but I sure do like it!

Knowing that my mom will cringe at every word I'm about to spout, I will spout nonetheless.

I want to be like Sue's aunt. Sue told me her aunt saved everything. Okay, okay, so maybe everything is excessive, but check this out!

Left over plates and napkins from her son, Sue's cousin's, birthday party back when he was a little boy.

Whoa. I love it.

Inspiration: That stray plate from my bridal shower that I've debated tossing, time and again. Today reminded me why I'm glad I've moved the darn, but pretty, paper plate to CA, back to WA, to our Lynden rental, and now to our Portland home. Someday, when it, too, is yellowed to perfection, I'll ever so tenderly show it to my grandkids and I'll tell them the stories that go with. "Did you know that my mom, your great grandma, dressed up in a wedding dress made of toilet paper and paraded around the house at my bridal shower?!" And that, dear mi maMa, is why I, in this category of life, choose to go against what you attempted to teach me.

Here's to hoping I get one grandkiddo as crazy as myself, who'll actually appreciate it...

Here's to selective pack-ratting!!!

Rick and Sue, thank you for being so wonderful. Thank you for taking an hour of your day to give me a house tour, talk about your aunt, share her things with me and tell me the story behind every item I chose. Thank you for making this, my first night without the hubs (who, as of today, began his new permanent placement on graveyard), better than I would have ever guessed it could be. I thought I'd be lonely. Well, I am, but for now, I'm blissfully distracted.

Life is full of little blessings, for that I give thanks.

~ Posted by this mama-to-be, from her "new" 75+ year old rocker.

PS Mom, I'm sorry!

A master minimalist I am not.

...I need a bigger house... :)

I've been doing some things...

Because we are facing the possbility of yet another move in our near future, I've been doing some things...things that aren't fun to do. Atleast not if you're me and you prefer residing in Meganville over living in reality. This past weekend I had Brian bring home some boxes from work. I completed a closet cleanse. I cleaned out a wreck of an office dresser. I cleaned/organized our clothes dresser. (Fortunately this dresser wasn't as bad as the first.) I've even started a to-be-donated pile...which has grown into multiple piles. Mmm, progress! (Mom, you ought to be proud!) Brian even told me he was going to help by tackling one of the filing cabinets. I was thrilled! BUT did he do this to make our possible move easier? Yeah right. Rather, he was motivated by a problem, there was paperwork inside that needed to be located. I wasn't aware that "filed' papers could require such effort to locate but that was before I saw what filing meant to Brian.

I was so baffled when I saw the contents of the below filing cabinet that I went to get my camera. Blog post inspiration! How he managed to look a little proud [PROUD!] in this pic,  I'll never understand...

In addition to our our joint attempt at organization, we went to Costco to pick up a bunch of pictures I had printed. It didn't help the cause of cleaning, organizing and minimizing. In fact it created a new problem, I now have more pictures than I know what to do with. At  first I was determined to place them throughout the house without having to purchase anything additional in which to display them. I even resorted to pasting them in Brian's "classroom," on his beloved iMac.

But eventually I ran out of options and the unruly voice within me chimed, "Just go shopping, maybe you'll find some irresistible frames that need a cozy home." "Oh, but I shouldn't," I replied, "that would only undo what I've already done." It's the same every time so I try to resist the temptation. Once I see them and decide they're perfect, I never have the heart to leave them on those cold, heartless shelves surrounded by all the other shivering frames longing for a happy home. Oh c'mon, I had to have something to look forward to through all_this_cleaning! So yes, we went shopping and yes, I bought more frames. What can I say, this frame fetish is really something, it leaves me practically powerless. But it's ok because now my pictures are happily showcased in their newly adopted frames and our next home will simply have MORE FRAMES! Oh, and one of them is a gift...so the hubs can't hold that one against me. :)

Blog post Summary:

Let's be real, my house isn't always this under control...

 Right now it looks more like this...

As you can see, dusting joins filing on the list of Things We Dread To Do.

The good news is that my closet looks like this...

...while Brian's looks like this...

I think it's safe to say, he's got some catching up to do. ;p

I'm just thankful it has a door so I can shut it if I don't want to look at the inside...that is, if it will even shut... :S

The finished result:

Two dressers, one closet, and one filing cabinet have been conquered.

One batch of newly printed pics and a few new frames have been purchased.

In Meganville, this adds up to 4 extra large steps forward and some might say, 2 itsy bitsy steps backward. Not so bad, if you ask me.

Our house is now cleaner, better organized and cuter than it was just last week. Go Us!

What Moving Taught Brian

Hardwood floors are hard on one’s bum. He discovered this while sitting in our empty house waiting for the movers to arrive. They were scheduled to be there at 8:00am. They finally arrived at 4:30pm. That’s a lot of hardwood sittin’. :/

Getting your wife to complain has been known to magically produce $100. On the day of our move, sometime in the early afternoon, the movers still had not arrived. Judging by the past and my knowledge of Brian’s tendency to back down in tense situations and the fact that I tend to “cowgirl up,” I knew that it was up to me to make the more-than-disapproving phone call to the movers. I did just that and when they finally arrived, they presented Brian with an apology and a $100 Target gift card. Brian was impressed. (He even thanked me!) Sometimes it literally pays to be firm. :)