Blogland Beckoned, I Reckon

For some really cool reasons I have made my way back to this, my wedge, my itsy bitsy corner of the web, to share with anyone still willing to read, or rather view, why life is beautiful these days.

1.) I'm pregnant! Again(!)

2.) I survived the first trimester! It surprised me by being more challenging this go round than it was with mr. Sanders so I feel it necessary to celebrate my return to functional humanity.

3.) My "baby," although far less babyish these days, has turned one.

4.) Before I realize I've blinked, I'll be keeping up with two littles and if I can't keep up documenting one, then, well...

5.) I'm anticipating what God has in store for us with much excitement but embracing today for the gift that it is.

Which is why it is my goal to go back through my little family's photos and begin to recap life (in abbreviated form) since I fell behind. Doing so is going to allow me the thrill of reliving and "re-loving" it all, from little moments when my camera happened to be handy, to many of Sanders' milestones.

Follow along, if you'd like. :)



* It's an understatement to say I'm an inconsistent blogger so if you're interested in catching updates as I'm able to post, be sure to subscribe! (See upper left column.)

Pregnancy: Obsessions & Aversions

I came across this list kept throughout my pregnancy. Reading it brought back vivid memories of days filled with fire-roasted hot dog cravings as well as landing myself back in bed (or on the bathroom floor) following every attempt to cook/bake with raw eggs. God was good to me, however, considering that although I spent plenty of time in the bathroom sure I was about to lose the contents of my stomach, I never actually did. I lost 8 lbs between my first and second OB appointments due to a dietary rotation consisting of Saltine's and Graham Crackers. Unfortunately, once over the initial queasy stage, I all too quickly made up for lost time. :)

OBSESSIONS
First Trimester:
Hot Dogs
Doughnuts

All the way throughout:
Boneless Hot Wings
Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bowls (with extra black beans and extra spicy salsa)
Dairy, any and all but especially cottage cheese. (Oh, and I no longer have time for nonfat milk. I've happily upgraded to 2%.)
Lemonade

AVERSIONS
First Trimester:
Eggs
Raw Banana Bread

All the way throughout:
Red Onions

RANDOM REPETITIVE CRAVINGS:
Melted Marshmallows (in coffee and hot chocolate)
Smoothies

Making Me Smile.

There have been so many things since Sanders' arrival, most little and some big, that have brought smiles to my face and happiness to my heart. I know I'll never forget the preciousness of the past 11 weeks but the details will fade with time, so here's a little list.

.Flowers.

 Both my dad and my father-in-law surprised me with bouquets of cheerful flowers.

.Meals.

We were shown so much love by family, friends, and women from church, preparing and delivering meals to our home. I always knew it was a nice gesture to bring a meal to a family with a new baby but I didn't understand until having my own what an incredible relief it is to not have to worry about dinner.

My friend Laura from church brought us a meal when Sanders was just weeks old. This little Ziploc bag more than made me smile, it made me laugh out loud.

.Brian's Time Off.

In anticipation of Sanders's arrival, Brian saved as much vacation as possible and was able to take 3 weeks off. It was a really special time.

.Nan and Gram.

We're so grateful to our moms, both of which stayed with us throughout our first few weeks as parents. Thank you for being present in our home, getting up/staying up in the middle of the night, teaching us how to burp a floppy newborn, doing laundry, the list goes on and on. Thank you for showing us the ropes and most importantly, for leading by example. We love you. Thanks for loving our little man so much.

.Christmas Music.

Sanders' first few weeks were accompanied by constant Christmas music. I don't want to forget the enchantment of the two combined. I also don't want to forget Sanders' huge startles each time Carol of the Bells played on Pandora. :)

.Sanders' Smiles.

Sleep smile. 1 week old.

.Skarlett's arrival.

Meeting and holding my niece just 13 days after welcoming my own little one was precious beyond what words can describe. So was all the cousins, including Sanders, gathered together to meet her. (Never mind the pesky window pane. :)

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

2012 - It Isn't Every Year

Hop on over to Tessa's blog to read a great post about the gift of our sisterhood, our babies, and a uniquely memorable year.

2012 - It Isn't Every Year

Maternity Photos. 36.5 weeks.

Thanks to my lovely friend, Wendi, of theSNAPsisters Photography, for capturing the last days of our quiet couple-ness.

Lessons in Labor.

* "False labor" can be painful, really painful, despite what they say.

* Everyone's assurance that I would just know when my contractions were real...they didn't really work out. I spent 5 nights thinking, "This is horrible. These are absolutely real. We need to leave for the hospital NOW!" Yet night after night, I was left increasingly sore and tired and with a baby still in my belly instead of my arms.

* Epidurals are truly a girl's best, best friend.

* Contrary to how fearful I was of a super drugged birth, I learned that Pitocin isn't always the enemy. In fact, a body can actually require it in order to progress beyond what was for us, a 4 centimeter road block.

* No matter how hard you try, you cannot look your best when your baby arrives. And although it's a nice idea, especially for the photo enthusiast such as myself, it is totally not the point. I wanted everything photographed. Well, everything but what was going on 'downstairs,' of course... :S I was determined to look beautiful in hospital photos. For about a week leading up to our due date I not only washed my hair daily, but styled it a couple of times per day. I was even caught in the middle of the night curling my hair between contractions. Several days into being a mama I found time to transfer all of our hospital photos from camera to computer. I was anxious to scroll through them and see what Brian had captured. My immediate response was disappointment when I saw that despite my dedication to a "photograph-able" appearance, I looked pret-ty bad by the time we entered the delivery room and documentation of the event I had so anticipated began. Then however, I looked past my hair and lack of make-up and I saw our faces as we met our baby for the first time. I was reminded of Sanders' bright, brand new eyes as he took in his world and learned the face of the mama whom he had only been able to hear for months. Each snapshot brought me back to the moment and suddenly my life's lens slid into focus. It was a new focus, a better focus, and I realized that my unkempt hair and 'naked' face suddenly seemed just right. I was a mama. My Mr. was a daddy. Together we had received everything for which we had hoped and prayed. Our gift had arrived. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and everything else was but wrapping paper, lying by, no longer the focus. 
In some ways my world is so much bigger now because there's so much beyond myself. In reality though, it's so small. 

My world is a 10 pound little someone named Sanders.

Dashing Details. 8 days old.

Kangaroo, I Envy You.

As a senior in high school it seems everyone in the world wants to know what post-high plans are had, where one will attend college, and in what one will major. Once in college the question is what one plans to do with their degree and how quickly it will be accomplished. When an individual finds them self in what the surrounding population dubs a "serious" dating relationship, it seems everyone and their mother wants to know when a marriage proposal might be taking place. Once married, the question looms, "When babies?"

We live in a rushed society and a pressure-filled world. It can be good, but more often than not I find it frazzling.

Brian and I have survived the high school and college questioning, as well as our most challenging: the baby questioning. But there's a new question. "Are you ready?!!" everyone wants to know.

My answer: I don't know. 

I keep asking God to prepare me and I trust that He will, but that doesn't fix that when I walk into the nursery I'm not sure if I have whatever it is I'm supposed to have. I don't know if I'm ready to bring this baby home. At 37 weeks I know one thing for sure and that is the fact that I am not ready to get this baby out. As much as I sometimes would like to see and touch his/her face, or hold him/her in my arms, or put him/her down for a sec, I'm still not ready to be physically two units, instead of our current one. I like being joined, even when it means I can't walk(or sit, or stand, or cook, or do anything) because our baby is situated ever-so-inconveniently on top of my sciatic nerve. Even when I'm 7/8 of the way done vacuuming the house but I can't finish the last teeny tiny stretch of hallway because I can't move, even then I like that we're together. I cling to our constant togetherness. People tell me that things will change. They say I'll become frantic to get Babe out. Their expressions say so clearly, "Oh hun, just you wait, you've got another thing comin'!" I guess I'm not there yet. Perhaps that's my answer. Maybe I'm not ready.

All the uncertainty has led me to this realization: I'm jealous of kangaroos. I think I want a pouch. I'm excited for this baby to have a place to sleep/roll/kick box...etc. that isn't inside my body. I'm excited to put this little stinker down every now and then. But until God deems it time, I hope to continue to cherish this precious, quiet time. Until "go time" faces me, I envy those kanga mamas. They get to have their little 'roos out...and still pack 'em around "inside" of themselves whenever they so choose. How clever! Talk about the best of both worlds...

Missing Maddox.

Our nephew Maddox would have been five yesterday. 

Although it seems impossible to separate the grief of missing him from the celebration of his birth and his place in our family, each year we can't help but remember that joyous day when our first baby entered the family. He was so, so sweet. It used to be one of my biggest fears that I'd forget what he looked like but now, five years later, I realize that I will never forget looking into his brand new little face and thinking he was absolutely perfect.

He was only with us for a brief time, but we'll never forget him. Our hearts and prayers will forever be with Daddy Luke and Mama Amy as they live without their firstborn. He'll always be our first babe and we'll always love him. 

We took Sydni, Moses, Kolt, and Millie to the cemetery to celebrate Maddox' birthday. Sydni and Moses were certain that Maddox would like balloons in Heaven, because they like balloons on their birthdays. :) I wish that his birthdays weren't sad. I wish that for even one day I could set aside the fact that there is a void in our family and just get to celebrate him with a happy heart. After all, he's in Heaven! But listening to his younger siblings and cousins sing with joyful hearts, smiling faces, and sweet voices "Happy Birthday Maddox!" around his grave only made me miss him more.

Being 35/36 weeks pregnant over the anniversary of Maddox' being born and passing away has given me a new perspective, a deeper sense of the reality of potentially losing a child, and an absolute gratitude for the assurance of eternal life. Alan Jackson's rendition of "Blessed Assurance" has been playing in my head on repeat ever since leaving the cemetery yesterday.

 Little ones, missed.

Blessed to Be Bumpin' It. 26/28 Weeks.

The first photo was taken at 26 weeks, although as of this week we have officially entered the third trimester. 

We are now 28 weeks along.

BamBam loves to grow, as it turns out. ;)

Hmm, what to say about life and pregnancy right now... 

Brian has become really anxious to meet this little person inside of me.

I, on the other hand, am enjoying this time knowing that in less than 3 months everything will change. No longer will caring for BamBam be hands-free and no longer will I have time to do whatever whenever I wish. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to meet this kid, but I know that life is about to change so I'm soaking up the little things about life as we know it, as a couple. Plus, considering how many projects I plan on accomplishing prior to BamBam's arrival, it's a good thing I have some time left. It is very cute though, hearing Brian talk to BamBam and seeing how much he looks forward to meeting him/her. He is going to be a very loving daddy.

This past week I realized for the first time that this baby is coming and contrary to my belief, it isn't that far off. I've spent the entirety of my pregnancy telling everyone around me how much time I have. I was sure that this baby wasn't due for ages. I mean, seriously, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the precursor to Christmas and well, if Thanksgiving was ages away Christmas must be forever away. 

False! 

I walked through a store's front entrance the other day and wham, autumn and halloween decor in my face!

 In the last several days I have responded to this realization by creating more lists than I think I have recorded in my entire life. (That may be a slight exaggeration. The point: I've gone list-crazy.) There are lists all over our house. An entire section of kitchen counter has been devoted to lists. And, might I add, it is a large section of counter. I have running lists in several different Word documents on my laptop and a minimum of one list can be found in almost every room of our house, with the obvious exception of the bathrooms.

Here's to taking one list at a time and hopefully not overlooking anything crucial...

~a frazzled and completely stable[slightly emotional] but happy mama-to-be :)

3 Years Ago Yesterday...

...This guy promised

to hold my hand

and be my man

 for the rest of my life.

Since saying 'I do' we've had our fair share of moves,

1. Southern California [Mr.'s home] 

2. Lynden [my home] 

3. the greater Portland area [our first 'home' as a couple] 

4. the greater Seattle area [our first 'real,' 'feels-like-home,' home as a couple]

a wide variety of housing, two dogs, one fish, plenty of longing and a whole lot of fun. Our life together hasn't failed to be interesting but God has been faithful to us each and every day.

Here's to growing closer, loving more, encouraging always, and putting Christ first. Oh, and keeping up our strict tradition of sharing ginormous slices of celebratory cheesecake together on August 14 each year. 

Until next time, 

a lovey-dovey, swollen (it's 90+ degrees!) pregnant lady who not only loves, but really, really likes her Mr. :)

Our Annual Camping Trip to Winthrop

True to tradition, this year's HemFam camping trip was filled with sunshine, water fun, memories, and a whole lot of really incredible food.

Puddle Play.

Delectable!

Some see an oyster, I spot butter. All say, "Yum!"

 Sydni kept playing in Luke and Moses' tent throughout the day. Luke kept telling her to get out. In the afternoon the guys cooked oysters and Luke asked Sydni if she'd like one.

  To his surprise, she said, 'Yeah.'

 He told her that if she would eat an oyster only then could she play in the tent.

 Note Luke's disbelief when she happily gobbled down her first oyster. :)

 She didn't get the big deal, but she did enjoy getting to play in the tent. :)

Grandpa Lawrence and Grandma B visited.

As always, each couple was assigned a night on which they were to treat the rest of us to dinner.

~Brian and Tessa's Night~

Appetizer:

.Grilled Bacon-wrapped Smokies.

Dinner:

.Loaded [lots of meat!] Chicken Tortilla Soup.

.Baked Potato Soup (with all the toppings).

.really good Garlic Bread.

.Sweet Tea.

Gma B dug right in. :)

One of my favorite things about camping is watching each of our sweet babes, wander one by one out from their respective sleeping places. This was my last year as just an auntie and I enjoyed every single second. I had a greater appreciation knowing that next year I'll be busy being 'mama' to my own little.

Men making breakfast. A 'happiful' sight, as my college friend, Rach, would say. :)

Steamy Sausage!

 ~Dad and Mom's Night~

Appetizer:

.Grilled Bacon-wrapped Mini Sausages. (Notice a trend yet?)

Dinner:

.Low Country Boil. (the delicious definition of a one-pot meal)

.Arnold Palmer's.

.Homemade Ice Cream.

It's hard to keep your eyes closed during prayer just moments after watching your nana 

dump a pot of goodness down the center of the table!

~Our Night~

Appetizer: 

.Smoked Bacon-wrapped Jalapeno Poppers.

Dinner:

.Po Boys featuring [our first attempt at] Fried Catfish.

.Jambalaya.

.Slaw.

.Sweet Tea.

.Fruit Pizza [Pioneer Woman style].

Us being posers. Brian, Tess and Co. being hungry. :)

A colorful po boy, complete with Louisana hot sauce. 

More breakfast!

Individual Darigold Chocolate Milks, one of Uncle Bri's contributions.

Frozen Pacific NW berries and whip cream!

Nana was so kind as to bring her waffle iron along and treat us all to berry waffles.

Bold Brewed Coffee+Crispy Bacon+The Great, Sunny Outdoors: 

This is how every day should begin.

Operation Un-wedge Millster:

Millie had a stroller obsession this year. 

Each time someone said, 'Where's Millie?!' She was soon after located happily climbing one of the strollers.

[Note Big Bro Mose standing by, hands on cheeks, concerned.]

 Happy Papa and Nana :)

Moses was anxious to get in the boat with his daddy. :)

 Sydni determined that 2012 was the year to be terrified of the boat. Goofy girl... (She used to love it!)

 Pretty Pedis.

 Flip Flop Tan Lines.

 Remembering our first little buddy...

 Playtime at the beach.

 [Somewhat] leisurely rides on The Ho for the pregnant ladies. ;)

~Luke and Amy's Night~

Dinner:

.BBQ [really well flavored]Pulled Pork Sandwiches.

.Cornbread Salad.

.Sour Cream Slaw.

.Mint Juleps.

.[the best] Dutch Oven Bread Pudding.

 Best Bread Pudding I've ever put in my mouth.

(It became even better with whip cream melted on top.)

A sweet sibling moment. 

 I love that Millie went from playing in the grass to eating a plum, still with grass stuck to her pudgy little fingers.

Kolter makes some seriously beautiful, serious faces.

It was a wonderful trip. Although we realize it will be far more complicated, Brian and I are itching to go again next year, as a little family of three.