BirthMom and BirthDad have struggled from the start, they've waffled back and forth, and now it seems they've decided. At barely 15 years old they have chosen to parent.
Although we were always aware that risk was involved, especially in this particular case, it is no less painful to face now that loss is our reality. We know God has a plan and we know we have been blessed, yet we are sad. We would love prayer as we work on saying goodbye without ever having had the chance to actually say hello. Brian and I have questions, but ultimately we have realized that there really isn't much to say.
We've spent the last couple of days flooded by realizations that make us sad. Like what we're to do with the ultrasound photos. No longer will we have this cute little face (and that adorable little nose) riding around in our wallets, yet I can't bring myself to throw them away.
Pray for this baby because we aren't sure what life will look like for 'August.' Brian and I promised ourselves and one another upon starting the adoption process that never could it be about us, it always needed to revolve around a child. Although, yes, we were anxious to have a little one and to become parents we didn't want to adopt in order to fulfill our own need, which is why we started with state adoption. We wanted to give a little someone in need a solid, Christian home in which he/she could thrive. When presented, we were thrilled at the opportunity to parent 'August' and we were excited to bring 'August' up in a Christian home...But now that everything has changed we are resting in the knowledge that God has this baby in His perfect hands.
His plan exceeds ours, that we know.